i have spent months preparing for a test. i am not good at self-study, therefore i joined a course in Weber to help me find some clues. i had a real good time there,because i made some new friends there, including mental king,mental queen, mental prince ,jame,little Naylor and twins sisters. there were all together 16 of us. because of them, classes were joyful. even though we are of different age groups, we got along pretty well. i think that deal to the fact that we live in the some city and have the some goal at that time therefore have a lot in common. i have been living in zhengzhou for more than three years but even can not feel the sense of belonging. when i graduated from high school, i wished i could go to the other province for higher education and my dream came true. after i left hometown, i recognized that what a wonderful city nanning is. that is the city where my home and friends belong. i love the city. but i do not regret about my decision. i learnt a great deal during these years. communicating with people from different place broadened my horizon. new friends showed me different ways of thinking. that was great.
i dislike the testing system in china. i have been fighting with it for years as all the students in china do.i am a lucky girl. nothing has bothered me than exams. i could not change the system, therefore i face it. i sometimes mock by saying that "why we have to spend that much time to fight for pieces of paper(here i mean money) and some members(marks)? that is stupid." no matter what the course as far as it comes to exam, i lose interest in it. but i do not mean i will give it up, i just need time for mood adjustment. i will go back to the battle as soon as i find a way to motivate myself. that is who i am. when i am not happy with something, i do not force myself to keep doing it because that is lack of efficiency.
there are lots of choices we have to make. but sometimes we really do not have choices but to fight against difficulties to get what you want. we do what we have to do so we could do what we want to do. i was in low spirits in the summer vocation for several days. i believe that independence is a very important quality. i thought that no one could help me out expect myself. that is why i did not tell anyone about what bothered me at that time. even though i did not say anything, it was not hard to tell that i was not happy. i did not knew that my families were worried about me until my brother left message on my "space". i always thought that since i was the big sister in the family, i could not show any weakness in front of my brothers, i have to set a good example for them and protect them. but maybe i was wrong. sometimes we just need someone to share our feeling so that we can cheer ourselves up and set things right. never shame to ask for you if you need.
i used to think that exams kill all our imagination and creativity, because we have to follow some rules in order to get high marks. here i mean to complete some models. i do not change my mind right now. what i have to do is finding ways to save them.
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